Finding Confidence in Motherhood

Recently I was the phone with a client. She needed help finding confidence in motherhood. She has dedicated a majority of her adult life to following her husband across the country so he can complete medical school, residency, and fellowships.  She doesn’t regret it and would do it again. She loves her husband and feels blessed to be able to support him as he has accomplished these amazing goals.  In between moves across the country she had the honor and privilege of becoming a mother.  These little people instantly became her tribe.  Aside from supporting her husband, being a mother has given her such purpose and joy.  At the time her love and devotion hardly seemed like a sacrifice. 

But while she found herself living this incredible life, she also found herself doing a lot more self-reflecting.  Her husband has a successful medical practice and her children are in school—happy, healthy, and thriving.  Her life is everything she had ever hoped for, but all of sudden she has found herself experiencing feelings of inadequacy.  She finds herself remembering who she once was.  She had dreams, ambitions, and goals at one time.  She placed those hopes on hold only to find after all these years she no longer felt capable.

This is all too common of a scenario for mothers.  As women, why does something as rewarding as being a wife or mother rob us of our confidence?  Why do we need help finding confidence in motherhood? We have one of the most impactful jobs in society—teaching children to be good adults.  We want to instill confidence in our children, yet we struggle within ourselves. In order to teach this, we must learn it and practice the skills ourselves.  

The first thing we can do is recognize that the lack of self-confidence or self-worth originates with our thoughts.  Feelings of insecurity come from your thoughts.  If you want to go back to school to finish a degree, start a business, or go after a career but feel a lack of confidence you need to figure out, what are the thoughts you are having that make you feel that way?  

Maybe you’re thinking:

I don’t have time. Or,

I don’t feel smart enough. 

If so, you need thoughts that will serve you better. Negative thoughts do one of two things: slow you down or stop you from moving forward.  Either option doesn’t make you happy. Changing our thoughts can help us move us forward.  

I don’t have time becomes I will make time because this is important to me.

As we practice our thoughts and change them to best serve us we will find our self-confidence propelling our momentum. We will begin finding confidence in motherhood. We realize that we can do hard things.  We will begin to see we have so much potential and are more than capable of setting, executing, and achieving our goals. Our thoughts control our actions and those actions can manifest results. We will soon find our own identity and discover that we are much more than a doctor’s wife.