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REDEFINE PODCAST
GIRL DRAMA
My daughter is 13 years old is going into the 8th grade. I have gotten a little taste of girl drama these past few months. I get it, I really do. What would school be without some theatrics? We all know how it starts, but how to end the girl drama is the real question. Although it is becoming an expensive bad habit, I have learned that our Starbuck runs have become the excuse to hear all about all the things. I so look forward our car rides to hear all the happenings of who said this or that. I am convinced the most valuable and teachable opportunities are in car rides or just before bedtime—when kids will say or do anything to avoid going to bed.
The other day my daughter jolted in the car frazzled and upset. I know better than to ask what is wrong but refrained until she was ready to talk. A friend at school had told her she was “rude as usual.” I let her vent and steam until she was ready to listen. I then turned my mama bear hat on backward and morphed into life coach-mode. I began to remind her that we can not control other people’s thoughts or actions, but only our own. When she said, “ you were rude as usual, how did that make you feel,” I asked? She snapped back with. “it made me sad.”
This is the worst age. It’s when children realize that they do not get along with everyone and that certain behaviors or mannerisms of their peers sometimes don’t align with their own. They may get irritated, annoyed, and agitated by things that previously had gone unnoticed. They start to become more mindful of what others are saying, wearing, or doing. They become more self-aware and self-conscious. This is a crucial time in their lives to teach them about the power of thoughts.
I realize we have done an injustice to our children without even realizing it. At a young age when someone would say something to our child that made them feel uncomfortable, we responded with, Did they hurt your feelings? This is where we went wrong.
Other people have no control over our feelings; we are completely responsible for our own feelings. Our thoughts control our feelings. Let me say that again, our thoughts control our feelings. If someone tells you they don’t like what you are wearing, that statement does not make you sad. It’s when you let your thoughts turn into I don’t look good, or My clothes are not cute, that creates a feeling of sadness. Although it’s easy to blame those around us—the one who doesn’t like what you’re wearing, in truth, we own our thoughts. We alone have power over our thoughts.
We may think that these behaviors only happen in children, but that is false. We are just as guilty as adults. How many times do we find ourselves getting offended by something posted on social media? What about if a friend or family member doesn’t call or text us back? How do you feel about your competition? How much of your energy do you spend on the people that don’t inspire you or bring you up?
Since we are talking about clothes I will give you another example. I have always loved fashion and lean towards more trendy styles. If I had a dollar for every time someone made fun of what I was wearing and then 6 months later they were wearing the same thing. I would be rich!
One of the most valuable and empowering tools is to identify, control, and change your thoughts. The instant we let others’ opinions, words, or actions affect us, we have allowed ourselves the inability to reach our full potential. These habits may have developed in our early years, but it isn’t too late to reverse them and teach them to ourselves.
Starting the drama takes little effort, but learning to end the drama is the real achievement. Don’t go throughout your life feeling offended or hurt. You can learn to identify your thoughts and eventually control and change them to serve you and help you progress.
Life is most definitely not void of hard and challenging relationships and trials. We will continue to have these same experiences of “girl drama” as we become adults. We will experience these in our personal lives and in the workplace. But if we learn to manage what we can control and let go of the things we can’t, we will learn to end the girl drama.
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I'm Brittni Schroeder!
I’m a Diet Coke drinkin, chocolate eatin, Netflix watchin, all-around good time! I want to show you how to grow and scale your business. Let’s be business BFFs!
