DEALING WITH CHANGE

I always knew I wanted to have children. Becoming a mother was something I longed for and even looked forward to pregnancy.  Within a few months of marriage, I found out I was pregnant. I was scared and excited all at the same time. The excitement faded pretty quickly when I started to feel sick. I was miserable. I was having a hard time dealing with change in my health. There was nothing I could do that made me feel better. Every day for months I would say to myself, “Tomorrow I will feel better.” I awoke with feeling of disappointment every morning when I felt horrible again. The sickness seemed never ending and I felt like the nausea was a lifelong sentence. Then a miracle happened.  After months of feeling sick, I woke up and I actually felt better. The urge to vomit my brains out was gone and my energy was back too. It was incredible how good I felt.

You may be wondering why I tell you this familiar story. The truth is, I love a good analogy.  That is how I learn and in turn how I teach. Having a baby is something I wanted, but my body had to go through a great deal of change to make that happen. The change was not easy or comfortable, but it did not last forever. In the end, I grew a beautiful human and the result was the best reward—becoming a mother. 

Change is inevitable in our lives, whether that is emotional, physical or mental.  It is part of the process as we evolve and strive to become our best selves.  Sometimes the change comes involuntarily and sometimes it comes by choice.  If we want different results in our lives then we have to anticipate and embrace change, no matter how uncomfortable or painful it is. Our life is filled with ups and downs or positives and negatives.  We cannot have one without the other.  If we can accept that, then we will get to where we are going with more understanding.

There is a tool, or rather an insight, that I teach my clients.  When we are dealing with change, there is a point during this transformation when things are hard, challenging, or uncomfortable.  I refer to this time as the “River of Misery.”  We are struggling and feel despair, frustration, or even sadness.  This feeling will not last forever, but it is just part of the process of change.  Understand that being in the “River of Misery” is just part of getting to where you want to go.

The next time you are seeking change, or it happens without warning, prepare yourself for the “river of misery”, understanding that when you are in the depths of the river that you are in the process of change. It won’t last forever, and it is a good thing; it shows that you are one step closer to becoming the best you.