IMPORTANCE OF TRUE FRIENDSHIPS

I remember when I was younger someone told me about the importance of true friendships. They contineud to tell me that you can count your true friendships on one hand. I have to be honest, I didn’t believe that to be true. I have always been very social and love meeting new people. I have moved several times throughout my adult life, and with each move came new experiences and amazing friendships. Over the years, I have maintained many of these friendships. The occasional text message, phone call, and Christmas card are shared. I feel grateful for these friendships and it puts a smile on my face and joy in my heart when I reflect on the memories that we created together. At one time I naively thought many of them to be true friendships. I did not really discern between “friendship” and “true friendship.” 

Then life happened and the unsolicited advice I had received many years ago took on a whole new meaning. My true friendships, my inner circle, my tribe, my people began to be revealed.  My circle got smaller, but my vision got clearer. I realized there’s strength in loyalty and devotion, not numbers. Today when I think of these friendships my throat tightens, my heart races, and tears fill my eyes. I am overwhelmed with gratitude when I think how these friendships carried me through my darkest hours. These friendships have become some of my most prized possessions.  

When I reflect on these relationships I find myself asking: what makes these friendships so deep and meaningful? The answer is vulnerability. When we are vulnerable, we are our most authentic, real, true selves. There is no hiding, no dishonestly, no manipulating and no competition when we are vulnerable. We share our weaknesses, our fears and our failures knowing that there is no judgement. We connect deeply with others when we divulge our struggles and fears. Our cries for help are heard even though the words are not spoken. We show up for one another even though we are struggling to show up for ourselves. We become relatable and connect on a deeper level when we show our vulnerable side. 

When we find those friends, the ones with whom we can be authentic and share our true selves, those are the friendships you hold on to. You soon realize the importance of true friendships. Those are the friendships you nurture, cherish and devote your time to. When we find ourselves in relationships where we have let go of the fear of vulnerability, those are the friendships you count on one hand.