REDEFINE PODCAST
Getting Better At Failure
The other day I had a conversation with one of my clients. She is very successful life coach. I was asking her about her journey. She has worked a lot with a very high profile life coach and I asked her if she thought some of her success was because of this relationships. I really loved her response and it just got me thinking about my own journey. She admitted that getting exposure has helped her business grow, but it was her consistency and persistence that got her noticed in the first place. It was her drive and motivation that kept her showing up time after time. It was her willingness to fail, Getting Better At Failure, and to keep pushing through that got her where she is today.
I think there is this fallacy about success. The thought is that some people are just lucky. That they are gifted these amazing opportunities and then overnight they are successful. I am not going to lie and say sometimes really great things do fall into people’s laps, but for the most part I would say most people are out there showing up over and over and then the good things start happen.
With all of that it got me thinking about my own journey as a coach. I think one of the best tools I posses is the ability to fail. There are a lot of things we want to become better at, but failing isn’t something we talk about, but it actually is so important when trying to achieve success.
I have a presentation that I give to schools for my non-profit. The presentation is about overcoming adversity and I talk about failure. I share, that I learned to fail at a young age. I was a late bloomer. I didn’t really hit puberty until I was a senior in high school and I failed a lot. At the time it was the end of the world, but hind site is 20-20 and I am grateful for those lessons that I learned at a young age.
Failure is such an important component of self-confidence. Accepting the possibility of failure shows you have the self-confidence to try and be content with the result regardless. Failure shows you are trying something new. You are open to change and ready to learn. Many people lower their expectations in an attempt to avoid failing. People avoid failing because they don’t want to feel disappointment or discomfort, but in the long run they will feel disappointment because they are not progressing. If you want to succeed, you have to get really, really good at failing. If you are willing to fail and open to learning from your failures, you are more likely to reach your goals.
There are four outcomes in life:
SUCCESS
Success is obviously the outcome that we all want and strive for. This means we accomplished what we set out to do. When we achieve success in anything it gives us a sense of accomplishment. Success is a key factor that contributes to our overall confidence.
FAILURE
Failure is the second most desired outcome. Failure means you tried. You put forth effort, energy and took a risk. Failure shows that we have confidence and determination to grow.
GIVING UP
Giving up is when we try something but let the discomfort or the fear take over. We resign to the thought that we cannot, will not, or are not. This outcome displays the want for something, but the fear of failure or what others think overpowers your desire to keep going.
INACTION
The fourth and worst outcome is inaction. Inaction or procrastination is when we don’t attempt something. The thoughts of fear or discomfort destroy our chance of progression. We won’t ever know if we will or will not succeed, because we don’t even try. This is something we want to avoid at all costs.
There is a really good book that I read a few years ago called Go For the No! by Andrea Waltz and Richard Fenton. It is a great book that touches on the fact that when we can go for the No it pushes us harder. It helps us success failure or rejection and understand it’s part of the process.
I have used this principle as an entrepreneur several times. I understand it’s a numbers game and if I get 9 no’s I am that much closer to the yes. When we let that NO stop us it’s when we stop growing.
When you continue to fail, you continue to succeed. You will grow. Be determined to become a person of action. Self-confidence is developed and groomed through failure. The more you embrace failure, the more likely you are to experience more success. Embracing failure is one of the most important tools I teach my clients when they develop self-confidence.