LIFE COACH SERIES – THE MODEL

LIFE COACHING SERIES – THE MODEL

Would you believe me if I told you that you are going to gain confidence that will transform your life?  You will become the person you were meant to be.  You will thrive in your relationships and in your life.

I hope you can believe this, because the power of our thoughts is what will make or break us.  If you are telling yourself that you are not good enough, you won’t be. But, if you BELIEVE you deserve success, envision that success, and let yourself feel what it will be like when you do succeed, you WILL succeed.  

THE LAW OF ATTRACTION

There is a law of attraction in life.  The things you focus on, talk about, think about, or believe, WILL happen.  Have you ever noticed how successful people keep having more success? Or sad and grumpy people only see sad and grumpy things in life, and keep experiencing them?  What you put your energy into, you will get.

This is powerful stuff!  And rarely do people focus enough on this aspect of success.  That is why it is one of the FIRST things I want to teach you. I want you to have these tools before we go any further.  

I will teach you a model that will help you so much in your life.  This model will help you recognize, identify and navigate through your thoughts.  This is something, like everything, you will need practice over and over throughout your life.  Once you truly understand this process you will feel empowerment and confidence.

The Five Components of the Model

• Circumstances or Facts
• Thoughts
• Feelings
• Actions
• Results

Circumstance/Facts

The first step in the model is the circumstance.  When we have life experiences and then try to relate that experience the facts are intertwined with our own perspective.  Think of a story from your childhood.  If you were to relate a story that happened years ago and your sister were to relate the same story, your stories could be completely different. That is okay.  We all see and perceive things in a different way.  Circumstances are things outside our control.  These include other people or our past.  We can’t control other people and we can’t change our past.  We can’t control our circumstances, but we can control everything else.

Circumstances are things that can be proven in a court of law.  These are things that other people would all agree on as factual.

Thoughts

We give meaning to things in our life through thoughts.  Sometimes we recognize these thoughts, but most times this is our reality.  Examples include “I am not good enough” or “people don’t like me”.  These are our thoughts that bring us down and don’t serve us.  The cause of any issue is always our thinking and our thoughts.  It’s not the circumstance, but more so our thoughts about it.  The way we think determines how we react to any situation.  

Being able to recognize your thoughts is an amazing tool that will empower you in your lives.  Recognizing the difference between our thoughts and the circumstance will be one of the most valuable tools you will learn through this program.  Remember that circumstances are factual and can be proven.  For example, “I weigh 130 lbs” is a circumstance, while “I am fat” is a thought because some people might not agree that 130 lbs is fat.

Feelings

Feelings are directly related to our thoughts. We can feel overwhelmed, frustrated, rejected, disappointed or excited.  Emotions are voluntary because we can change what we are feeling by changing our thoughts.  Sometimes we think our feelings come from something that happens.  ‘A friend didn’t check on you when you were struggling (circumstance), so I am sad (feeling).” Or we say “I got a featured in an article (circumstance), so I’m so happy (feeling).  

The truth is our feelings don’t come from either of those circumstances, but instead they come from what we think about them.  When a friend doesn’t check on you when you are having a hard time, you might have  the thoughts such as, “they don’t care about me, I am not good enough, they think I am annoying.”  Those could be the thoughts that make you sad, not that you didn’t check on you.  

Actions

Actions refer to behavior, reaction, or inaction, and they’re directly related to our feelings.  Examples include avoiding your friends because you are sad or not attending events because you think you don’t look good.  If we want different actions, we have to think differently.  Sometimes actions are subtle like the tone in our voice.  Or it might be an inaction, such as avoiding  posting on social media, or trying something new.  Sometimes we hide our emotions because we don’t want to feel uncomfortable.  But in the end the most effective actions come from positive feelings and being authentic.  When we recognize our thoughts and take action, we can change our behaviors and create amazing relationships and have positive results.

Results

Results are the effects of our actions.  Examples include not meeting new people because we withdraw or isolate ourselves.  Having dysfunctional relationships because we avoid interactions.  We have a choice and different actions will lead us to different results.  

We may think we don’t have a choice with our results.  This is false.  The truth is, we are responsible for our results because they come from our actions and are a result of our feelings, which come from our thoughts.  If you can see your mind you can gain the most valuable life skill of choosing thought that will create the results you want.

Remember to always be in a place of compassion, kindness and love for yourself to change.  We are not perfect and like every skill we decide to improve we have to practice and understand we are always in a state of learning.  Recognizing and mastering your thoughts requires lots and lots of practice.  It’s hard to not revert back, but with time you will find peace and confidence for anything in your life.