LIFE COACHING SERIES – OTHER PEOPLE’S OPINIONS

LIFE COACHING SERIES – OTHER PEOPLE’S OPINIONS

I was recently having a conversation with my daughter. She was having some issues with some friends at school. She tried to resolve the conflict, but no matter what she did, these friends just kept saying unkind things about her. She responded in frustration with, “I just want everyone to like me.” 

We spend so much of our lives worrying about what other people will think of us or trying to get people to like us. Our kids misbehave, and we worry that others will view us as a “bad” mom. We dress a certain way, buy expensive things, talk a certain way, post on social media—all because we want people to like us. We say what’s on our minds and are convinced we have offended someone. The list goes on and on and on. 

Of course we want people to like us, and that’s okay—to a certain extent. But when we compromise who we are and can’t show up authentically, that’s when it starts to affect our own happiness. The key is to find the right balance. We want to show up as our best selves, but we must also learn to stop caring what other people think when it doesn’t serve us. When we learn to do this, we’ll find empowerment. We’ll gain the confidence to become who we want to be and who we were meant to be. 

THE PEACH ANALOGY

One of my favorite analogies is called “A Peach Is a Peach.” It goes like this: You could be the sweetest, juiciest, tastiest, prettiest peach, but some people just don’t like peaches. And you know what? That’s okay. If someone told us they didn’t like peaches, would we constantly try to convince them that peaches are good? Probably not, but we do that with ourselves!

Do we often act in a way that we think will please or impress other people? We do this in an effort to convince them what to think. We’re seeking constant approval in our words and actions. The truth is: Some people just don’t like or agree with us. That’s okay. I could speak to a group of 100 women, and 50 of them could agree with what I said and 50 of them could disagree. I know I have no control over other people’s thoughts, no matter what I do or say. None.

Oftentimes, we find ourselves not being honest with the way we feel, because we have this fear that we might not be accepted or we might mess up a relationship. The reality is, if we can’t be honest with other people, we’ll never truly form a real connection and the relationship will always struggle. 

KEY LIFE LESSONS

Remember this: You can’t be the one to decide whether or not someone likes you. It’s up to the other person and their life experiences and preferences. Giving them permission in your mind to not like you can be huge. It’s a reminder that, oh yeah, it’s okay. They don’t like peaches. It has nothing to do with me or my self-worth. It’s not personal. 

The reason we don’t want people to not like us is because of what we make it mean. We make it mean we’re unlikeable or we aren’t good enough. We have to remember that it has nothing to do with us. 

Be willing to put yourself out there enough so people do have an opinion of you. Work on yourself and become the best version of yourself possible. Be kind, be honest, serve others, and make the world a better place. Do the best and be the best you can—people are either going to like you or not like you. That’s just how it goes. There are millions and millions of people in the world who will love and appreciate you for who you are.

With the right tools, you can learn to believe and accept you have no control over what other people think. Don’t get me wrong, it takes practice—LOTS of practice—but once you can accomplish this, you’ll gain unbelievable freedom. You’ll build confidence you didn’t know existed. You ‘ll become the truest, most authentic version of yourself. As this happens, you’ll start to live a life that allows you to be and do things that will best serve you. Your relationships will become deeper and more meaningful. You’ll be a better friend, boyfriend or girlfriend, wife or husband, or business owner and begin to spread your wings and accomplish your goals.