LIFE COACHING SERIES – SELF CONFIDENCE

Confidence vs. Self-Confidence

Did you know that there’s a difference between confidence and self-confidence? I used to think they were one and the same, but they most definitely are not. Recognizing this difference is key to personal growth and understanding how we navigate challenges in life. While confidence is rooted in past achievements and experiences, self-confidence is about trusting yourself to move forward, despite the risk of failure.

Confidence: Gained from the Past

Confidence is something we cultivate through past experiences. It is based on what we already know we can do because we’ve done it before. For example, as a professional photographer for nearly 10 years, I built confidence through years of experience. I won awards, was featured in magazines, and had countless clients tell me how much they loved my work. These achievements have built my confidence in photography because I’ve gained evidence that I’m good at what I do.

The key here is that confidence is specific to an area where we’ve already demonstrated skill. If you’ve been successful in your career, consistently hit fitness goals, or mastered a hobby, you’re confident because you have proof that you can succeed. Confidence is reassuring because it reminds you of what you’ve already accomplished, giving you the courage to repeat similar success in those areas.

However, confidence is limited to the things you’ve already achieved success. Just because I’m confident in photography doesn’t mean I’ll automatically be confident when trying something entirely new.

Self-Confidence: A Trust in the Future

Self-confidence, on the other hand, pertains more to the future. It’s a belief in our abilities to face challenges and try new things, regardless of whether we succeed or fail. It’s the willingness to step into unknown territory even though we might feel uncomfortable, afraid, or uncertain. Self-confidence is deeply tied to how we view ourselves, beyond any external validation or past accomplishments.

While confidence can be based on past success, self-confidence comes from within. It is the belief that you can handle whatever comes next, even when you don’t know exactly how things will turn out. Self-confidence is a broader, more foundational sense of self-worth that gives us the courage to move forward, try new things, and face uncertainty with resilience.

Building Self-Confidence

Personal development is an ongoing journey, and self-confidence is crucial in helping us reach our full potential. Some people seem to have an innate sense of self-confidence, but for most of us, it requires conscious effort to create. Here are a few key steps to build and strengthen self-confidence.

1. Trust Yourself

Self-confidence begins with trust. We have to learn to trust ourselves to follow through on our commitments and deal with uncomfortable emotions. This trust is built when we show ourselves that we are dependable. If you tell yourself you’ll wake up early to go for a run, but hit snooze and skip it, your trust in yourself diminishes. On the other hand, every time you keep a promise to yourself—no matter how small—you reinforce your ability to trust your own word.

This self-trust creates a sense of control and self-confidence. You start to believe in your ability to work through challenges and stick to your goals. The more consistently you show up for yourself, the more you reinforce your own dependability.

2. Embrace Discomfort

One of the biggest hurdles to self-confidence is the discomfort that comes with failure or the fear of failure. Discomfort is inevitable when we’re trying something new, but it’s essential for growth. Many people avoid discomfort, fearing that failure will diminish their self-worth. But the truth is that failure is a natural part of the learning process.

The more you embrace discomfort and accept that it’s part of life, the more resilient and self-confident you become. You begin to see discomfort as a sign of growth, not a reason to avoid action. Each time you step outside your comfort zone, whether by trying a new skill, taking on a leadership role, or pursuing a challenging goal, you have personal growth that helps you work through different challenges. 

Failure isn’t a reflection of your worth; it’s simply feedback that helps you grow. The more you fail the more you grow, the more you grow, the more you succeed. When you embrace this reality, the more your self-confidence will develop.

3. Cultivate a Positive Self-Opinion

Self-confidence is deeply tied to what we think about ourselves. A self-confident person views themselves as deserving, capable, and worthy. They believe they can handle whatever life throws their way, regardless of the outcome. Your self-opinion pushes you to take action. When you think positively about yourself, you are more likely to take risks, pursue opportunities, and keep going when you are faced with failure. 

On the other hand, negative self-talk can severely deplete your self-confidence. If you constantly tell yourself you’re not good enough or that you’re bound to fail, those thoughts will hold you back. Cultivating a positive self-opinion involves actively challenging these negative thoughts and replacing them with affirmations that encourage action.

Focus on your strengths, practice gratitude, and remind yourself of the progress you’ve already made in life. You are more than capable of growth, and the way you view yourself will either propel you forward or hold you back.

Differences in Action

Confidence and self-confidence play different roles in our lives, but they both work together to help us achieve our goals. You can be confident in specific areas based on past experience, while still lacking self-confidence in other aspects of your life. For example, you might be confident in your career but feel anxious or uncertain about starting a new business. 

To push through those fears, self-confidence is required. It’s the belief that even though you haven’t done something before, you can figure it out. Self-confidence is about embracing the unknown and taking action, even when there’s a risk of failure.

Trust Yourself, Embrace Discomfort, and Keep Moving Forward

Self-confidence isn’t something that arrives fully formed; it’s something we build over time. Every time we face discomfort, fail, and try again, we build our self-confidence. Every time we trust ourselves to follow through, we strengthen our belief in our ability to handle whatever life throws our way.

We only live once, so don’t let fear hold you back. Whether you’re working on self-confidence or already modeling it for others, remember to trust yourself, embrace discomfort, and know that you are worthy of success.

Confidence might come from past achievements, but self-confidence is what will propel you into the future. So, go hard. Take risks. And know that no matter the outcome, you’ll come out stronger on the other side.

By continuously practicing these principles, you’ll build the self-confidence to tackle any challenge and unlock your true potential.