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The Importance of True Friendships
I have mentioned before that I pick a word every year to focus on. A few years ago I was having a bunch of turmoil in my life. It seemed like I was being consumed with so much relationships drama and it was sucking my energy and my joy. When the first of the year rolled around the word that I picked was “Nurture”. I was going to stop putting my energy into fixing all my unhealthy relationships, but instead I was going to start nurturing my good relationships. This was such a pivotal time in my life. It made me reflect and ponder on my friendships.
The Importance of True Friendships
I remember when I was younger someone told me about the importance of true friendships. They continued to tell me that you can count your true friendships on one hand. I have to be honest, I didn’t believe that to be true. I’ve always been very social and love meeting new people. I have moved several times throughout my adult life, and with each move came new experiences and amazing friendships.
I often describe myself as a collector of people. Over the years, I have maintained many friendships. The occasional text message, phone call, and Christmas card are shared. I feel grateful for these friendships and it puts a smile on my face and joy in my heart when I reflect on the memories that we created together. At one time I naively thought many of them to be true friendships. I did not really discern between “friendship” and “true friendship.”
It’s strange as you get older and life happens. I have realized that the unsolicited advice I had received many years ago took on a whole new meaning. My true friendships, my inner circle, my people began to be revealed. Then my circle got smaller, but my vision got clearer. I realized there’s strength in loyalty and devotion, not numbers. Today when I think of these friendships my throat tightens, my heart races, and tears fill my eyes. I am overwhelmed with gratitude when I think how these friendships carried me through some of my darkest hours. These friendships have become some of my most prized possessions.
I have friends that I consider family. They stuck with me and liked me when I didn’t really like myself. Many of you may know that I lost my 14 year old son in 2017. When you go through something as difficult as losing a child it changes you. It also, grants you a new perspective of what and who are really important. You weed out the things and people that suck your energy. In a way, it’s freeing and empowering.
When I reflect on some of my friendships I find myself asking: what makes these friendships so deep and meaningful? The answer for me, is vulnerability, loyalty, honesty, and confidence.
Vulnerabilty
When we are vulnerable, we are our most authentic, real, true selves. There is no hiding, no dishonestly, no manipulating and no competition when we are vulnerable. We share our weaknesses, our fears and our failures knowing that there is no judgement. When we connect deeply with others we divulge our struggles and fears. Our cries for help are heard even though the words are not spoken. We show up for one another even though we are struggling to show up for ourselves and we become relatable and connect on a deeper level when we show our vulnerable side.
The friendships that I consider true friendships are the ones that I know I can say exactly what I am thinking or feeling and they will love me regardless how ridiculous, selfish, or foolish I may sound. They love me for the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Loyalty
The next important factor to me is loyalty. When I looked up loyalty in the good ole dictionary it stated that loyalty was a strong feeling of support or allegiance. So when I think of loyalty in a friendship I think of these things:
They celebrate each other’s successes and are never going to be jealous of your success and they are genuinely happy for you whenever you have wins. Your wins are their wins.
A loyal friend will always stand by you when times are tough. You know you can get through breakups, illnesses, and other life drama because they’ll always be there by your side. You are never alone. They might not always agree with your choices, but they’ll still give you emotional support. They’ll always be there to catch you whenever you fall, and will never make you feel worse about the situation with, “I told you so’s.”
They stand up for each other. People will say all kinds of things about you. But they will always stand up for you no matter what.
Like all relationships, friendships can fade if only one person is willing to put in the effort to make it last. Friendship is a two way street. People feel loved and cared about when what they offer in a relationship is reciprocated. When you are making an effort to stay in each other’s lives after so much time has passed, that’s loyalty
Honesty
They keep it real. A good friend is someone who won’t always tell you what you want to hear, but will always tell you what you need to hear. A real friend can call you on your crap. You can be open to the criticism no matter how much you don’t want to hear it.
A real friend wants you to be the best and sometimes that means telling them the hard truth. When you can have a good honest friends you always make up. All relationships have their share of ups and downs. When you’re friends with someone for a long time, you’re guaranteed to fight at some point. But if you can be honest with friends will be able to come together after adversity as long as they’re not compromising their own integrity by doing so.
Confidence
I think confidence goes hand-in-hand in vulnerability, loyalty, and honesty. When you combine all of those characteristics you gain confidence that you will be loved and accepted and you can be your true self.
When you are confident in yourself you have the ability to be confident in your relationships. You don’t overthink and over analyze every word or action, but instead you can show up and nurture your relationships.
When you have confidence in yourself you can put more energy into your friendship. You can be a builder, you build others up because you see the best in them. You want your friend’s success and happiness as much as you want your own and you have the ability to help them cultivate that in their own lives.
True friends are one of the simple pleasures in life. I wouldn’t be me with out them. When we find those friends, the ones with whom we can be authentic and share our true selves, have each others backs, can be honest with, and can build one another, those are the friendships you hold on to. You soon realize the importance of true friendships. Those are the friendships you nurture, cherish and devote your time to. When we find ourselves in relationships like these, we cherish them, these are the friendships you count on one hand.
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I'm Brittni Schroeder!
I’m a Diet Coke drinkin, chocolate eatin, Netflix watchin, all-around good time! I want to show you how to grow and scale your business. Let’s be business BFFs!