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Life Coaching Series – The Power of Failure

THE POWER OF FAILURE

The idea of failure is often seen as something to be avoided at all costs. Many of us grow up believing that failing is a reflection of our worth or ability, and this belief can prevent us from trying new things, stepping outside our comfort zones, or pursuing our dreams. But what if failure wasn’t something to be feared? What if, instead, it was embraced as a crucial component of growth and self-confidence?

Failure needs to be reframed as one of the most powerful tools for personal development. It’s a necessary stepping stone toward success whether in business or life, and when we change our perspective on it, we develop self-confidence and become the person we are supposed to be. I know it sounds counterintuitive, but failure is one of the most desirable outcomes we can experience, second only to success itself. Here’s why.

Failure as a Building Block of Self-Confidence

Failure is such an important component of self-confidence because it demonstrates that we are willing to take risks, try new things, and grow. When we embrace the possibility of failure, we are signaling to ourselves and others that we believe in our ability to handle whatever outcome may arise. Whether we succeed or fail, the mere act of trying is a reflection of our resilience and determination.

Self-confidence is not just about feeling good when things go well. It’s about trusting yourself enough to take action, even when the outcome is uncertain. Many people lower their expectations to avoid failing. They shy away from taking risks because they don’t want to feel discomfort or disappointment. But ironically, this avoidance strategy often leads to long-term disappointment because you can get stuck and complacent, failing to make progress toward your goals.

If you truly want to succeed, you have to get really, really good at failing. When you’re willing to fail and open to learning from your failures, you’re far more likely to reach your goals. This mindset shift is what separates people who continually grow from those who remain stuck.

The Four Outcomes in Life

There are four possible outcomes we can experience in life, and understanding them helps us see where failure fits into the bigger picture.

1. Success

Success is obviously the outcome we all desire. When we succeed, we achieve our goals and feel a sense of accomplishment. Success boosts our confidence and propels us forward. But success isn’t something that just happens —it’s often the result of repeated failures that taught us valuable lessons along the way.

2. Failure

Failure, surprisingly, is the second most desirable outcome. Why? Because failure means you tried. You took action, expended energy, and put yourself out there. Failure shows that you have the courage to grow, and it brings you one step closer to eventual success. Every failure is an opportunity to learn, adjust, and improve.

3. Giving Up

Giving up is when we let discomfort or fear take over. It’s when we allow the negative emotions associated with failure to convince us that we can’t or shouldn’t keep going. Giving up often stems from the fear of what others think, or the belief that we are not capable of achieving our goals. While giving up may provide temporary relief from discomfort, it robs us of the chance to experience growth and long-term satisfaction.

4. Inaction

The worst outcome of all is inaction. When we don’t even try, we deny ourselves the possibility of growth. Inaction is often driven by fear—fear of failure, fear of discomfort, or fear of the unknown. But by not trying, we eliminate any chance of success. Inaction guarantees that we will stay exactly where we are, and it ensures that we will never know what we are truly capable of.

The Link Between Failure and Success

Many of the most successful people in history credit their achievements to the lessons they learned through failure. Thomas Edison famously said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Each failure brought him closer to inventing the lightbulb—a world-changing success.

When we continue to fail, we continue to grow. Every failure gives us new insights and opportunities for improvement. Each time we try something and it doesn’t work out, we gain a deeper understanding of what does and doesn’t lead to success. Over time, this process of trial and error refines our skills, sharpens our strategies, and builds our resilience.

In fact, the more we embrace failure, the more likely we are to experience success. Why? Because those who are willing to fail are also the ones who are willing to take action. They are the ones who keep moving forward, even in the face of setbacks. And action, as we know, is the foundation of progress.

When we avoid failure it comes with a high cost. When we shy away from failure, we also shy away from growth. People who avoid failure often end up feeling stuck, frustrated, and disappointed because they aren’t progressing toward their goals. They may settle for a life of comfort, but comfort doesn’t lead to fulfillment.

If we want to live a life of purpose, growth, and success, we must be willing to embrace the discomfort of failure. We must be willing to take risks, make mistakes, and learn from them. The alternative is a life of stagnation—a life in which we never reach our full potential.

Becoming a Person of Action

Ultimately, the key to success lies in becoming a person of action. It’s about developing the courage to take risks, try new things, and embrace failure as part of the process. Action is what moves us forward, and failure is what teaches us how to improve.

When you continue to fail, you continue to grow. By taking action, even in the face of failure, you build the skills, resilience, and self-confidence needed to achieve your goals. Embracing failure is not just a strategy for success—it’s a pathway to becoming the best version of yourself.

So, the next time you face the possibility of failure, don’t shy away from it. Embrace it. Know that every failure is a stepping stone toward success, and that by failing, you are building the confidence and strength needed to succeed in the long run.

Join the Conversation

Let’s not stop the party here. Head on over to my Instagram or Facebook group, Redefine Your Business, and share your thoughts about today’s show. See you again, same time, same place next week!

Resources:

The Meeting Place Membership
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LIFE COACHING SERIES – SELF CONFIDENCE

Confidence vs. Self-Confidence

Did you know that there’s a difference between confidence and self-confidence? I used to think they were one and the same, but they most definitely are not. Recognizing this difference is key to personal growth and understanding how we navigate challenges in life. While confidence is rooted in past achievements and experiences, self-confidence is about trusting yourself to move forward, despite the risk of failure.

Confidence: Gained from the Past

Confidence is something we cultivate through past experiences. It is based on what we already know we can do because we’ve done it before. For example, as a professional photographer for nearly 10 years, I built confidence through years of experience. I won awards, was featured in magazines, and had countless clients tell me how much they loved my work. These achievements have built my confidence in photography because I’ve gained evidence that I’m good at what I do.

The key here is that confidence is specific to an area where we’ve already demonstrated skill. If you’ve been successful in your career, consistently hit fitness goals, or mastered a hobby, you’re confident because you have proof that you can succeed. Confidence is reassuring because it reminds you of what you’ve already accomplished, giving you the courage to repeat similar success in those areas.

However, confidence is limited to the things you’ve already achieved success. Just because I’m confident in photography doesn’t mean I’ll automatically be confident when trying something entirely new.

Self-Confidence: A Trust in the Future

Self-confidence, on the other hand, pertains more to the future. It’s a belief in our abilities to face challenges and try new things, regardless of whether we succeed or fail. It’s the willingness to step into unknown territory even though we might feel uncomfortable, afraid, or uncertain. Self-confidence is deeply tied to how we view ourselves, beyond any external validation or past accomplishments.

While confidence can be based on past success, self-confidence comes from within. It is the belief that you can handle whatever comes next, even when you don’t know exactly how things will turn out. Self-confidence is a broader, more foundational sense of self-worth that gives us the courage to move forward, try new things, and face uncertainty with resilience.

Building Self-Confidence

Personal development is an ongoing journey, and self-confidence is crucial in helping us reach our full potential. Some people seem to have an innate sense of self-confidence, but for most of us, it requires conscious effort to create. Here are a few key steps to build and strengthen self-confidence.

1. Trust Yourself

Self-confidence begins with trust. We have to learn to trust ourselves to follow through on our commitments and deal with uncomfortable emotions. This trust is built when we show ourselves that we are dependable. If you tell yourself you’ll wake up early to go for a run, but hit snooze and skip it, your trust in yourself diminishes. On the other hand, every time you keep a promise to yourself—no matter how small—you reinforce your ability to trust your own word.

This self-trust creates a sense of control and self-confidence. You start to believe in your ability to work through challenges and stick to your goals. The more consistently you show up for yourself, the more you reinforce your own dependability.

2. Embrace Discomfort

One of the biggest hurdles to self-confidence is the discomfort that comes with failure or the fear of failure. Discomfort is inevitable when we’re trying something new, but it’s essential for growth. Many people avoid discomfort, fearing that failure will diminish their self-worth. But the truth is that failure is a natural part of the learning process.

The more you embrace discomfort and accept that it’s part of life, the more resilient and self-confident you become. You begin to see discomfort as a sign of growth, not a reason to avoid action. Each time you step outside your comfort zone, whether by trying a new skill, taking on a leadership role, or pursuing a challenging goal, you have personal growth that helps you work through different challenges.

Failure isn’t a reflection of your worth; it’s simply feedback that helps you grow. The more you fail the more you grow, the more you grow, the more you succeed. When you embrace this reality, the more your self-confidence will develop.

3. Cultivate a Positive Self-Opinion

Self-confidence is deeply tied to what we think about ourselves. A self-confident person views themselves as deserving, capable, and worthy. They believe they can handle whatever life throws their way, regardless of the outcome. Your self-opinion pushes you to take action. When you think positively about yourself, you are more likely to take risks, pursue opportunities, and keep going when you are faced with failure.

On the other hand, negative self-talk can severely deplete your self-confidence. If you constantly tell yourself you’re not good enough or that you’re bound to fail, those thoughts will hold you back. Cultivating a positive self-opinion involves actively challenging these negative thoughts and replacing them with affirmations that encourage action.

Focus on your strengths, practice gratitude, and remind yourself of the progress you’ve already made in life. You are more than capable of growth, and the way you view yourself will either propel you forward or hold you back.

Differences in Action

Confidence and self-confidence play different roles in our lives, but they both work together to help us achieve our goals. You can be confident in specific areas based on past experience, while still lacking self-confidence in other aspects of your life. For example, you might be confident in your career but feel anxious or uncertain about starting a new business.

To push through those fears, self-confidence is required. It’s the belief that even though you haven’t done something before, you can figure it out. Self-confidence is about embracing the unknown and taking action, even when there’s a risk of failure.

Trust Yourself, Embrace Discomfort, and Keep Moving Forward

Self-confidence isn’t something that arrives fully formed; it’s something we build over time. Every time we face discomfort, fail, and try again, we build our self-confidence. Every time we trust ourselves to follow through, we strengthen our belief in our ability to handle whatever life throws our way.

We only live once, so don’t let fear hold you back. Whether you’re working on self-confidence or already modeling it for others, remember to trust yourself, embrace discomfort, and know that you are worthy of success.

Confidence might come from past achievements, but self-confidence is what will propel you into the future. So, go hard. Take risks. And know that no matter the outcome, you’ll come out stronger on the other side.

By continuously practicing these principles, you’ll build the self-confidence to tackle any challenge and unlock your true potential.

Join the Conversation

Let’s not stop the party here. Head on over to my Instagram or Facebook group, Redefine Your Business, and share your thoughts about today’s show. See you again, same time, same place next week!

Resources:

The Meeting Place Membership
Rock The Reels
1:1 Coaching
Free Client Welcome Guide
Additional Trainings and Resources

Connect with Brittni:

Follow me on the Gram – @brittni.schroeder
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LIFE COACHING SERIES – BOUNDARIES

Boundaries are essential to maintaining healthy relationships, both with others and with ourselves. But what exactly are boundaries, and why are they so important? Often misunderstood, boundaries aren’t about controlling the behavior of others. Instead, they are guidelines we set for ourselves to define what we are willing to tolerate in our lives, whether in physical, emotional, or mental spaces.

Boundaries need to be set only when there is a boundary violation. If someone is constantly overstepping into your personal space—whether physically or emotionally—then it’s time to set a boundary. It’s not about telling them what they have to do; rather, it’s about deciding for yourself what action you will take if the violation continues. Boundaries clarify your personal limits and what you will or will not stand for or tolerate.

For You, Not for Others

A key point about boundaries is that they aren’t rules for other people. They don’t exist to control others’ actions or control their behavior. Instead, boundaries help you establish what is acceptable and unacceptable in your life. They create a clear understanding of your own limits, and they guide how you will respond when someone oversteps those limits. Importantly, boundaries are not threats or ultimatums—they are a way of protecting your own mental and emotional well-being.

For example, if someone repeatedly is making negative or hurtful comments, setting a boundary could mean deciding to limit your interactions with that person. You are not telling them what they must say or do, but you are making a clear decision for yourself about how you will handle future interactions. If they continue to behave in a way that violates your emotional space, you will follow through with the boundary you’ve set by limiting the time you spend with them.

The Power of Clear Communication

One of the biggest misconceptions is that others should automatically know what our boundaries are. This is a dangerous assumption because, in many cases, people may not realize they are crossing a boundary. They are unaware because we haven’t communicated what we will and will not tolerate.

When we don’t express our boundaries clearly, we often find ourselves feeling frustrated and resentful when others overstep. We think, “They should know this,” or “I shouldn’t have to tell them that their behavior is inappropriate.” But the reality is that unless we have directly communicated our boundaries, others might not know what’s bothering us.

To prevent frustration, it’s crucial to be transparent. Clearly communicate your expectations to those around you, whether in friendships, romantic relationships, or professional settings. Let them know what behaviors or actions are unacceptable, and make it clear what the consequences will be if those boundaries are violated.

This isn’t about controlling their behavior—it’s about protecting your own space. If you communicate your boundaries, and the other person continues to disregard them, the next step is to follow through on the consequences you’ve decided. Without follow-through, boundaries lose their effectiveness and won’t be taken seriously.

For example, if you’ve expressed to a friend that certain comments or actions are hurtful but they continue, you may need to change the situation by limiting your interactions. Following through ensures that your boundaries are respected and that others take your needs seriously.

Creating Healthy Relationships

Setting boundaries might feel uncomfortable at first, especially if you’re not used to doing it. But the rewards far outweigh the initial discomfort. Establishing boundaries can transform relationships, fostering mutual respect and understanding. Clear boundaries open the door to deeper connections based on honesty, respect, and authenticity.

Boundaries create space for more love, connection, and intimacy to blossom. Relationships thrive when both parties know where the other person’s limits are, leading to healthier communication and more fulfilling interactions. When boundaries are in place, each individual can feel safe and respected, knowing that their personal needs are being honored. Such a relationship is a beautiful thing, built on a foundation of mutual care and consideration.

Setting Boundaries with Yourself

It’s not just about setting boundaries with others. Setting them with yourself is equally important for your mental and emotional well-being. Just as you need to protect yourself from the behavior of others, you also need to safeguard yourself from your own habits, behaviors, or tendencies that aren’t serving you.

Setting boundaries with yourself means identifying areas of your life where you’re allowing negative influences to creep in, and then taking action to protect yourself. This could include recognizing when you’re spending too much time on social media, which may be contributing to feelings of inadequacy or negativity. In this case, a boundary might involve limiting the amount of time you spend on certain platforms each day, or unfollowing accounts that leave you feeling less-than or unhappy.

Similarly, setting boundaries with yourself can involve avoiding certain people or environments that consistently bring out negative emotions. If you notice that a particular group of friends leaves you feeling drained, anxious, or upset after every interaction, it might be time to establish a boundary around how often you spend time with them. You’re not cutting them off entirely; you’re simply limiting your exposure to ensure your mental and emotional well-being is protected.

The same goes for consuming media—whether it’s the news, podcasts, or television shows. If you find that certain content is triggering negative emotions like anxiety, stress, or anger, set boundaries around what you expose yourself to. You can choose to limit your consumption of certain types of media, or allocate specific times when you’ll engage with it. Being mindful of what you’re allowing into your mental space is a powerful way to set boundaries with yourself.

Why Boundaries with Yourself Are Crucial

Setting boundaries with yourself helps you take control of your emotional and mental health. It empowers you to prioritize your well-being by recognizing and eliminating harmful influences. Without personal boundaries, we can easily find ourselves stuck in unhealthy patterns, allowing negativity to accumulate in our lives.

When you don’t have boundaries with yourself, you may engage in behaviors that lead to burnout, stress, or emotional exhaustion. This can happen when we overextend ourselves, neglect self-care, or continuously put others’ needs before our own. By setting personal boundaries, you’re making the conscious decision to prioritize your mental health and take steps to create a healthier, more balanced life.

Remember, you are the gatekeeper of your own emotional and mental space. It’s up to you to decide what you will allow in and what you will keep out. Setting boundaries with yourself is not about being rigid or isolating yourself—it’s about making conscious choices that support your overall well-being. You deserve to create a life that nurtures and uplifts you.

Boundaries are vital for maintaining healthy relationships with others and with yourself. They clarify what is acceptable, protect your emotional and mental space, and foster deeper, more authentic connections. Putting these things into practice may feel challenging at first, but with practice, it becomes easier to communicate your needs and follow through on them. By establishing clear boundaries with others and with yourself, you can create a more balanced, fulfilling, and harmonious life.

Join the Conversation

Let’s not stop the party here. Head on over to my Instagram or Facebook group, Redefine Your Business, and share your thoughts about today’s show. See you again, same time, same place next week!

Resources:

The Meeting Place Membership
Rock The Reels
1:1 Coaching
Free Client Welcome Guide
Additional Trainings and Resources

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Follow me on the Gram – @brittni.schroeder
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LIFE COACHING SERIES – SURVIVOR VS VICTIM

SURVIVOR VS VICTIM

If you have been following me for a while you probably know bits and pieces of my story. Within a span of 5 years I lost my 14 year old son, my husband at the time lost his job, we moved, experienced betrayal, divorced, and moved back to Utah. I am not going to lie and say it hasn’t been hard, because it has. But this Life Coaching concept that I am going to share today is one that has been instrumental in my resilience and happiness.

We all have horrible, tragic or sad things that happen to us in our lives. Oftentimes we have no control over those things. We don’t get a choice, but we do have a choice as to how we respond to those things. Are we going to take our experiences and become a victim or are we going to take those experiences and become a survivor?

When we choose to become a victim we tend to blame, withdraw and avoid feeling negative emotion. We dwell in the past and our progression is stalled. We use excuses as to why our behavior is a certain way. We don’t hold ourselves accountable for our current behavior and might say things like “I am this way because of what I went through.” We are defensive and avoid vulnerability.

My daughter was diagnosed with ADHD and Dyslexia when she was in the 4th grade. I have tried to be intentional about how I talk about this with her. I don’t think we have mentioned her ADHD or Dyslexia more than 5 times in the last 5 years. The reason. I don’t want that to define her. When she struggles in school, I don’t want her to think she doesn’t have control over the outcomes in her life. When she struggles, I just respond with you just need to try harder sis. You can do this. I want to empower her!

Victim mentality does not mean we are weak, it means we are stuck. We focus on what has happened to us and we lose control over our thoughts and our results. Oftentimes we make our experience define who we are. We blame ourselves and soon our experiences consume who we are.

When we identify as a victim, there must also be a villain. Who is your villain today? Who are you blaming? Very often, it’s ourselves. We can play both roles.

Vulnerability is knowing that you are enough, that you are perfect exactly the way you are. You get to choose do you want to be bitter or better.

When we make the choice to be a survivor, we have strength, courage and connections with others. We have power over our mind. We become who we are supposed to become.

Being the survivor helps us realize that we are enough. It turns us into warriors. We become strong, determined and willing to help others. It gives us perspective and experience that helps us help others. When you accept the things that happen to you, that is when you progress. We take those experiences and create the ending that serves us the most in your life.

Join the Conversation

Let’s not stop the party here. Head on over to my Instagram or Facebook group, Redefine Your Business, and share your thoughts about today’s show. See you again, same time, same place next week!

Resources:

The Meeting Place Membership
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LIFE COACHING SERIES – OTHER PEOPLE’S OPINIONS

I was recently having a conversation with my daughter. She was having some issues with some friends at school. She tried to resolve the conflict, but no matter what she did, these friends just kept saying unkind things about her. She responded in frustration with, “I just want everyone to like me.”

We spend so much of our lives worrying about what other people will think of us or trying to get people to like us. Our kids misbehave, and we worry that others will view us as a “bad” mom. We dress a certain way, buy expensive things, talk a certain way, post on social media—all because we want people to like us. We say what’s on our minds and are convinced we have offended someone. The list goes on and on and on.

Of course we want people to like us, and that’s okay—to a certain extent. But when we compromise who we are and can’t show up authentically, that’s when it starts to affect our own happiness. The key is to find the right balance. We want to show up as our best selves, but we must also learn to stop caring what other people think when it doesn’t serve us. When we learn to do this, we’ll find empowerment. We’ll gain the confidence to become who we want to be and who we were meant to be.

THE PEACH ANALOGY

One of my favorite analogies is called “A Peach Is a Peach.” It goes like this: You could be the sweetest, juiciest, tastiest, prettiest peach, but some people just don’t like peaches. And you know what? That’s okay. If someone told us they didn’t like peaches, would we constantly try to convince them that peaches are good? Probably not, but we do that with ourselves!

Do we often act in a way that we think will please or impress other people? We do this in an effort to convince them what to think. We’re seeking constant approval in our words and actions. The truth is: Some people just don’t like or agree with us. That’s okay. I could speak to a group of 100 women, and 50 of them could agree with what I said and 50 of them could disagree. I know I have no control over other people’s thoughts, no matter what I do or say. None.

Oftentimes, we find ourselves not being honest with the way we feel, because we have this fear that we might not be accepted or we might mess up a relationship. The reality is, if we can’t be honest with other people, we’ll never truly form a real connection and the relationship will always struggle.

KEY LIFE LESSONS

Remember this: You can’t be the one to decide whether or not someone likes you. It’s up to the other person and their life experiences and preferences. Giving them permission in your mind to not like you can be huge. It’s a reminder that, oh yeah, it’s okay. They don’t like peaches. It has nothing to do with me or my self-worth. It’s not personal.

The reason we don’t want people to not like us is because of what we make it mean. We make it mean we’re unlikeable or we aren’t good enough. We have to remember that it has nothing to do with us.

Be willing to put yourself out there enough so people do have an opinion of you. Work on yourself and become the best version of yourself possible. Be kind, be honest, serve others, and make the world a better place. Do the best and be the best you can—people are either going to like you or not like you. That’s just how it goes. There are millions and millions of people in the world who will love and appreciate you for who you are.

With the right tools, you can learn to believe and accept you have no control over what other people think. Don’t get me wrong, it takes practice—LOTS of practice—but once you can accomplish this, you’ll gain unbelievable freedom. You’ll build confidence you didn’t know existed. You ‘ll become the truest, most authentic version of yourself. As this happens, you’ll start to live a life that allows you to be and do things that will best serve you. Your relationships will become deeper and more meaningful. You’ll be a better friend, boyfriend or girlfriend, wife or husband, or business owner and begin to spread your wings and accomplish your goals.

Join the Conversation

Let’s not stop the party here. Head on over to my Instagram or Facebook group, Redefine Your Business, and share your thoughts about today’s show. See you again, same time, same place next week!

Resources:

The Meeting Place Membership
Rock The Reels
1:1 Coaching
Free Client Welcome Guide
Additional Trainings and Resources

Connect with Brittni:

Follow me on the Gram – @brittni.schroeder
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LIFE COACHING SERIES – THE MANUAL

The Manual

At its core, the Manual is a set of expectations that we have for the people in our lives—partners, friends, family members, coworkers, and even strangers. These expectations are often unspoken and uncommunicated, yet we hold others to these standards as if they were aware of them. The Manual might include expectations such as, “My partner should always listen to me when I talk,” or “My friend should remember my birthday without me reminding them.” When these expectations aren’t met, we often feel disappointed, hurt, or resentful.

Often time these expectations are how we think people should act, because that is what we do. The Manual is problematic because it places our emotional well-being in the hands of others. We believe that if others would just follow the rules in our Manual, we would feel better. However, this mindset can lead to frustration because people don’t always behave in the way we want them to. More importantly, it takes away our personal responsibility for our own emotions.

The Problem with Unspoken Expectations

One of the main issues with the Manual is that the expectations are often unspoken. We assume that others should know how to behave without us telling them, which can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts. For example, you might expect your friend to know that you want them to surprise you with a gift on your birthday, because that is what you would do. If they don’t, you might feel unloved or unimportant. However, if you’ve never communicated this expectation to them, they might not even realize that it’s important to you.

Unspoken expectations can create a breeding ground for resentment. When others fail to meet the standards in our Manual, we might feel as though they don’t care about us or that they’re intentionally trying to hurt us. In reality, they might be completely unaware of our expectations.

Taking Responsibility for Your Emotions

It’s not the actions of others that determine how we feel—it’s our thoughts about those actions. By relying on the Manual, we’re essentially giving away our power to other people. We’re saying, “You need to behave in a certain way so that I can feel a certain way.”

This mindset can lead to a sense of helplessness because it places our emotional state in the hands of others. If they don’t follow the rules in our Manual, we’re left feeling disappointed or upset. However, when we take responsibility for our own emotions, we reclaim our power. We realize that our feelings are a result of our own thoughts, not the actions of others.

For example, instead of thinking, “My family didn’t call me on my birthday, so they don’t care about me,” we might choose to think, “My family didn’t call me on my birthday, but I know they care about me in other ways.” By shifting our thoughts, we can change how we feel without needing others to behave differently.

Letting Go of the Manual

Letting go of the Manual doesn’t mean that we have to lower our standards or accept poor treatment from others. Instead, it means recognizing that we can’t control other people’s behavior, and we don’t need them to behave in a certain way for us to feel good.

One of the first steps in letting go of the Manual is to identify the expectations you have for others. Take some time to reflect on your relationships and consider what rules you’ve created for the people in your life. What do you expect from your partner, your friends, or your coworkers? Are these expectations realistic? Have you communicated with them?

Once you’ve identified your expectations, consider whether they’re serving you. Are they helping you to feel connected and loved, or are they causing frustration and disappointment? If you are constantly in turmoil, it might be time to let go of those expectations.

Communicating Your Needs

While letting go of the Manual means releasing unrealistic expectations, it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t communicate your needs and desires. In fact, clear communication is key to healthy relationships. If something is important to you, it’s okay to express that to others.

For example, instead of expecting your partner to know that you want more quality time together, you can communicate that need directly. You might say, “I really value the time we spend together, and I would love to plan more date nights.” This way, you’re not relying on them to read your mind, and you’re taking an active role in creating the relationship you want.

The Benefits of Letting Go

When we let go of the Manual, we free ourselves from the burden of trying to control others. We stop basing our happiness on whether or not people follow our unwritten rules, and we start taking responsibility for our own emotions. This shift can lead to more fulfilling and authentic relationships because we’re no longer holding others to standards they might not even be aware of.

Letting go of the Manual also allows us to appreciate people for who they are, rather than who we want them to be. We can accept that others are imperfect, just like us, and that they might not always meet our expectations. Instead of focusing on what they’re doing wrong, we can choose to focus on the positive aspects of our relationships.

The Manual is a concept that can have a profound impact on our relationships and emotional well-being. By understanding that our expectations of others are often unspoken and unrealistic, we can begin to take responsibility for our own emotions. Letting go of the Manual doesn’t mean lowering our standards or accepting poor treatment, but rather recognizing that we are in control of how we feel. Through clear communication and a willingness to take ownership of our thoughts, we can create healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Ultimately, the Manual is a tool that can help us shift from a mindset of dependence on others to one of empowerment and self-responsibility.

Join the Conversation

Let’s not stop the party here. Head on over to my Instagram or Facebook group, Redefine Your Business, and share your thoughts about today’s show. See you again, same time, same place next week!

Resources:

The Meeting Place Membership
Rock The Reels
1:1 Coaching
Free Client Welcome Guide
Additional Trainings and Resources

Connect with Brittni:

Follow me on the Gram – @brittni.schroeder
Join my Facebook Group
Visit my website
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LIFE COACH SERIES – THE MODEL

LIFE COACHING SERIES – THE MODEL

Would you believe me if I told you that you are going to gain confidence that will transform your life? You will become the person you were meant to be. You will thrive in your relationships and in your life.

I hope you can believe this, because the power of our thoughts is what will make or break us. If you are telling yourself that you are not good enough, you won’t be. But, if you BELIEVE you deserve success, envision that success, and let yourself feel what it will be like when you do succeed, you WILL succeed.

THE LAW OF ATTRACTION

There is a law of attraction in life. The things you focus on, talk about, think about, or believe, WILL happen. Have you ever noticed how successful people keep having more success? Or sad and grumpy people only see sad and grumpy things in life, and keep experiencing them? What you put your energy into, you will get.

This is powerful stuff! And rarely do people focus enough on this aspect of success. That is why it is one of the FIRST things I want to teach you. I want you to have these tools before we go any further.

I will teach you a model that will help you so much in your life. This model will help you recognize, identify and navigate through your thoughts. This is something, like everything, you will need practice over and over throughout your life. Once you truly understand this process you will feel empowerment and confidence.

The Five Components of the Model

Circumstances or Facts
Thoughts
Feelings
Actions
Results

Circumstance/Facts

The first step in the model is the circumstance. When we have life experiences and then try to relate that experience the facts are intertwined with our own perspective. Think of a story from your childhood. If you were to relate a story that happened years ago and your sister were to relate the same story, your stories could be completely different. That is okay. We all see and perceive things in a different way. Circumstances are things outside our control. These include other people or our past. We can’t control other people and we can’t change our past. We can’t control our circumstances, but we can control everything else.

Circumstances are things that can be proven in a court of law. These are things that other people would all agree on as factual.

Thoughts

We give meaning to things in our life through thoughts. Sometimes we recognize these thoughts, but most times this is our reality. Examples include “I am not good enough” or “people don’t like me”. These are our thoughts that bring us down and don’t serve us. The cause of any issue is always our thinking and our thoughts. It’s not the circumstance, but more so our thoughts about it. The way we think determines how we react to any situation.

Being able to recognize your thoughts is an amazing tool that will empower you in your lives. Recognizing the difference between our thoughts and the circumstance will be one of the most valuable tools you will learn through this program. Remember that circumstances are factual and can be proven. For example, “I weigh 130 lbs” is a circumstance, while “I am fat” is a thought because some people might not agree that 130 lbs is fat.

Feelings

Feelings are directly related to our thoughts. We can feel overwhelmed, frustrated, rejected, disappointed or excited. Emotions are voluntary because we can change what we are feeling by changing our thoughts. Sometimes we think our feelings come from something that happens. ‘A friend didn’t check on you when you were struggling (circumstance), so I am sad (feeling).” Or we say “I got a featured in an article (circumstance), so I’m so happy (feeling).

The truth is our feelings don’t come from either of those circumstances, but instead they come from what we think about them. When a friend doesn’t check on you when you are having a hard time, you might have the thoughts such as, “they don’t care about me, I am not good enough, they think I am annoying.” Those could be the thoughts that make you sad, not that you didn’t check on you.

Actions

Actions refer to behavior, reaction, or inaction, and they’re directly related to our feelings. Examples include avoiding your friends because you are sad or not attending events because you think you don’t look good. If we want different actions, we have to think differently. Sometimes actions are subtle like the tone in our voice. Or it might be an inaction, such as avoiding posting on social media, or trying something new. Sometimes we hide our emotions because we don’t want to feel uncomfortable. But in the end the most effective actions come from positive feelings and being authentic. When we recognize our thoughts and take action, we can change our behaviors and create amazing relationships and have positive results.

Results

Results are the effects of our actions. Examples include not meeting new people because we withdraw or isolate ourselves. Having dysfunctional relationships because we avoid interactions. We have a choice and different actions will lead us to different results.

We may think we don’t have a choice with our results. This is false. The truth is, we are responsible for our results because they come from our actions and are a result of our feelings, which come from our thoughts. If you can see your mind you can gain the most valuable life skill of choosing thought that will create the results you want.

Remember to always be in a place of compassion, kindness and love for yourself to change. We are not perfect and like every skill we decide to improve we have to practice and understand we are always in a state of learning. Recognizing and mastering your thoughts requires lots and lots of practice. It’s hard to not revert back, but with time you will find peace and confidence for anything in your life.

Join the Conversation

Let’s not stop the party here. Head on over to my Instagram or Facebook group, Redefine Your Business, and share your thoughts about today’s show. See you again, same time, same place next week!

Resources:

The Meeting Place Membership
Rock The Reels
1:1 Coaching
Free Client Welcome Guide
Additional Trainings and Resources

Connect with Brittni:

Follow me on the Gram – @brittni.schroeder
Join my Facebook Group
Visit my website
Subscribe to my Youtube

LIFE COACHING SERIES – STORY VS FACT

THE BENEFIT OF LIFE COACHING

A few years ago, I stumbled across life coaching. Shortly after my son passed away, someone introduced me to a life coaching podcast. Immediately, I was hooked. I’ve always been fascinated equally with psychology and self-help, so needless to say, I knew I had to learn more. I ended up getting certified as a life coach, and it’s been a huge game-changer in both business and life.

I know I tend to be a tad dramatic at times, but I’m being serious when I say life coaching changed my life. So what does life coaching have to do with business?

EVERYTHING.

Personal and business relationships are pivotal to the success of any business. When you have strong personal relationships and connections, they allow you to excel, because you have a strong support system. Strong personal connections foster trust and loyalty; these relationships can offer valuable advice, referrals, and emotional support.

In a business context, relationships with clients, partners, and suppliers ensure smooth operations, reliable collaborations, and mutual growth opportunities. Cultivating these relationships leads to repeat business and a positive reputation — all of which are essential for success and growth.

With all of this said, I’ve decided to do a series of episodes sharing some of the most valuable tools and skills I’ve learned through life coaching.

The first podcast of the series is a concept called Story vs. Facts.

STORY VS. FACT

Think of something that happened to you when you were younger. You could describe that story to me with all the details. I could then ask your siblings, friends, or parents about that same experience, and their recollection could be completely different. Here’s the thing: Our life is made up of these stories. We all perceive things in different ways. These are stories.

Now let’s talk about facts. A fact is something that everyone can agree on. For example, I’m a mom. If I went to court, it can be proven that I’m a mom.

Here’s another thing about facts. They don’t hurt us. When things happen, they have no effect on us until we give them meaning. If a friend got in a car wreck and was severely hurt, you could be laughing because your mind wasn’t aware that it happened. Once you realize what has happened and your mind starts to think thoughts of concern and despair, that’s when it starts to affect us.

When we learn to separate our thoughts from the facts, it helps us see things more clearly. You might say, “I was so sad when my friend got in a wreck,” but what you really meant was, “I was so sad what I thought about when my friend got in a wreck.” When we realize that our minds cause our feelings, we can gain more control over our emotional lives. This doesn’t mean we don’t choose to be sad, because you probably will. But it means you have the choice to feel a certain way when you’re faced with different experiences.

Let’s take the earlier example of the fact that I’m a mom. I had a fight with my daughter, and I overreacted. Maybe I say things that I shouldn’t have. I start to have thoughts about how I should’ve handled things. I might feel upset because I have thoughts that I should know better and I’m not a good mom and I’m failing as a mother. The fact is, I am a mom, but the story is negative with lots of self-doubt.

THE POWER OF YOUR MIND

As we navigate through stress, overwhelm, or disappointment, we’ll learn to separate the circumstance (or fact) from the feeling. If you feel stressed about your work, understand the work doesn’t make you stressed — it’s the story (or thoughts) you’re having that make you stressed. Oftentimes you have no control over the circumstances, but you do have control of how you think about it.

The things we do in our life are because of our minds. Sometimes we believe our stories so deeply that we think they’re facts when they’re not. It’s important to remember that if the stories don’t serve us or help us progress, then we need to take another look at what we’re creating.

Sometimes bad things happen to good people. Sometimes it’s good to share trials and memories. It’s important to understand that it isn’t useful to explain your current situation is caused by something that has happened in the past. If you’re holding on to something that happened in the past and it’s affecting your present, those thoughts will not serve you if they’re negative.

It’s impossible to feel a feeling you felt 5 years ago and then re-experience it. You’re having a new thought about the past. The only pain you’re experiencing is the pain you’re creating now. If you feel shame or sorrow now, it’s not because of what happened to you in your past — it’s because of what you’re currently thinking about what happened to you in your past.

People or experiences from your past don’t have power over you now, unless you let them. Don’t let horrible experiences live in your minds over and over.

You have the choice to focus on all the good experiences or all the bad experiences. The story that you tell about your past depends on what you’re choosing to focus on.

It’s human nature to feel feelings and create stories, but when you start to have awareness around the stories you’re creating, you start to take control of your life. You start to create stories that will help you become the best you. We can change our thoughts to positive self-talk, such as “I’m learning” or “I’m doing the best I can” or “I’m improving.”

LEARNING PATIENCE

Be patient with the process of changing your thoughts. The first step is always awareness. Simply start by just paying attention to the stories you’re telling yourself. Ask yourself if the stories are helping or hurting your progress.

This concept is one of the great foundation tools that has changed the way I think. Oftentimes in business and life, I find myself in circumstances where I’m feeling a negative emotion. I take a pause and decipher my thoughts and ask myself how I can change this story to serve me.

I want to challenge you this week to take some time to reflect on your own thoughts and ask yourself what are the facts and what are the stories.

Join the Conversation

Let’s not stop the party here. Head on over to my Instagram or Facebook group, Redefine Your Business, and share your thoughts about today’s show. See you again, same time, same place next week!

Resources:

The Meeting Place Membership
Rock The Reels
1:1 Coaching
Free Client Welcome Guide
Additional Trainings and Resources

Connect with Brittni:

Follow me on the Gram – @brittni.schroeder
Join my Facebook Group
Visit my website
Subscribe to my Youtube

SEASONS LIFE COACHING WITH JILL PACK

This episode of the Redefine Business Podcast features Jill Pack, a mother of five, grandmother of three (with one on the way!), and a seasoned life coach who has spent over 28 years as a stay-at-home mom. Jill shares her journey of self-discovery, the challenges of navigating an empty nest, and how she found her new purpose in life coaching. Their conversation is not just about business, but about embracing the ever-changing seasons of life.

STAY AT HOME MOM TO LIFE COACH

Jill Pack’s story is one of transformation and growth. After spending most of her life raising five children, Jill found herself at a crossroads when her youngest daughter was about to start her senior year of high school. With her children growing up and moving on, Jill began to feel a sense of purposelessness—a common experience for many who have dedicated their lives to raising a family.

“I remember having this moment of, ‘What now?’” Jill recalls. “I didn’t have a career, and I didn’t know what I had to offer the world anymore.”

In search of something new, Jill got her real estate license. But it wasn’t until she stumbled upon a few life coaching podcasts that she began to see a new path for herself. The messages resonated with her, and after attending a live event, Jill realized she wanted to become a coach. She went on to get certified at the Life Coach School (LCS) and has been coaching ever since.

“My passion has been to find women like me who are navigating this confusing time of life,” Jill says. “It’s not a midlife crisis—it’s a midlife awakening.”

REDEFINING MIDLIFE

For many women, midlife can feel like a crisis, but Jill reframes it as an awakening. It’s a time to rediscover oneself, to explore new passions, and to embrace the second half of life with purpose and excitement. Jill emphasizes the importance of living on purpose, not sweating the small stuff, and being open to the emotions that come with life’s ups and downs.

“Emotions are moments,” Jill explains. “The hard stuff doesn’t last forever. We need to embrace this season of life and make it amazing.”

Brittni and Jill discuss how life coaching has provided them with the tools to navigate life’s challenges. From managing relationships with adult children to dealing with the changing dynamics of family life, coaching has helped them both gain perspective and handle situations with greater ease.

LIFE COACHING: A GAME-CHANGER IN BUSINESS AND LIFE

Both Brittni and Jill are certified life coaches, and they agree that the tools and techniques they’ve learned have been life-changing. Life coaching isn’t just about business—it’s about improving every aspect of life, from personal relationships to professional challenges.

Brittni shares how life coaching has shifted her perspective, especially after experiencing the loss of a child. “There was a time when I thought my life was hard, but now I look back and wish I could go back to that ‘hard.’ I don’t want to take anything for granted.”

This shift in perspective has allowed Brittni to live more in the moment, appreciating the present rather than constantly striving for the next milestone. She notes that life coaching has given her the tools to see the bigger picture and to change her belief system in ways that have had a profound impact on her life.

CLIMBING THE MOUNTAIN OF LIFE

Jill uses a powerful analogy to describe the impact of coaching: climbing a mountain. Life, she says, can often feel like bushwhacking through dense undergrowth, with no clear path in sight. But when you reach the peak, the perspective you gain allows you to see the entire landscape, including where you went wrong and where you need to go next.

“Coaching pulls us up to look out and go, ‘Oh, okay, I can see a different way,’” Jill explains. “It’s not about getting mad at ourselves for the past, but about asking, ‘Now what?’ and moving forward.”

Jill’s passion for helping women navigate the different seasons of life led her to create Seasons Coaching, where she supports clients through various life transitions. She believes that understanding the cyclical nature of life’s seasons can help people move through difficult times with more grace and acceptance.

APPLYING COACHING TOOLS IN BUSINESS

Jill also applies her coaching skills in business settings, working with doctor’s offices to improve team dynamics and communication. In these high-stress environments, disagreements and misunderstandings can easily arise, but Jill’s coaching helps teams navigate these challenges with greater understanding and collaboration.

“It’s been an interesting experience to bring these tools into a business setting,” Jill says. “These tools are just as applicable in business as they are in personal life.”

REDEFINE YOUR LIFE AND BUSINESS

As the podcast episode comes to a close, Brittni and Jill reflect on the importance of continually redefining ourselves, both in life and in business. Change is inevitable, but it’s also an opportunity for growth and reinvention.

“We’re constantly redefining, finding new meaning, and discovering new directions,” Brittni says. “That’s the beauty of life.”

Jill’s final words of advice to listeners are to embrace the seasons of life and recognize that the hard times don’t last forever. With the right tools and perspective, you can navigate any challenge and come out stronger on the other side.

CONNECT WITH JILL

Jill is an inspiring coach who has helped many women embrace the second half of life with purpose and passion. To learn more about her coaching services or to connect with her, visit her website or listen to her podcast, “Seasons of Joy,” where she shares tips and tools for navigating life’s transitions.

Jill also offers a five-day relationship challenge, designed to help you gain greater perspective and show up differently in your relationships. The challenge includes a workbook and accompanying podcast episodes to guide you through the process.

JILL’S RESOURCES

FREEBIE: 5 Day Relationship Reboot Challenge

Join the Conversation

Let’s not stop the party here. Head on over to my Instagram or Facebook group, Redefine Your Business, and share your thoughts about today’s show. See you again, same time, same place next week!

Resources:

The Meeting Place Membership
Rock The Reels
1:1 Coaching
Free Client Welcome Guide
Additional Trainings and Resources

Connect with Brittni:

Follow me on the Gram – @brittni.schroeder
Join my Facebook Group
Visit my website
Subscribe to my Youtube

OVERCOMING IMPOSTER SYNDROME AS A BUSINESS OWNER

Imposter syndrome is a psychological phenomenon where individuals doubt themselves and have a fear of being exposed as a “fraud.” Despite all the evidence that you are capable, when you’re experiencing imposter syndrome, you’re convinced that nobody will take you seriously as a professional. For business owners, this can really take a hold of their progress, impacting decision-making, marketing, and the overall growth of their business.

Understanding Imposter Syndrome in Business

The term “imposter syndrome” was first coined in 1978 by psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes. They found that many high-achieving women often believed they were not as intelligent as others perceived them to be. Over time, research has shown that this syndrome affects a diverse group of people, including men and individuals from various fields, particularly business owners who carry the weight of their company’s success on their shoulders.

Common characteristics of imposter syndrome include:

Self-Doubt: Persistent feelings of inadequacy.

Attributing Success to External Factors: Believing that success is due to luck or external factors rather than one’s own skills or qualifications.

Fear of Exposure: A constant fear that one’s true lack of ability will be discovered.

Overachieving: Working excessively hard to avoid being “found out.”

Not Accepting Praise: Brushing off compliments and positive feedback.

The Impact of Imposter Syndrome on Business Owners

For business owners, imposter syndrome can lead to stress, anxiety, depression, and burnout. It can really hinder growth, by avoiding taking risks or looking for new opportunities because of the fear of failure. This can limit your growth.

Strategies for Business Owners to Overcome Imposter Syndrome

While overcoming imposter syndrome can be challenging, it’s entirely possible with the right strategies and mindset shifts. Here are some effective ways for business owners to tackle this issue:

Acknowledge Your Feelings

The first step to overcoming imposter syndrome is acknowledging and recognizing your feelings. Understand that it’s normal to have self-doubt and that many successful business owners experience these feelings at some point in their lives. Naming and understanding your imposter feelings can help you work through it all.

Talk About It

Sharing your experiences with trusted mentors, business partners, or peer groups can provide a sense of relief and support. You may find that others have similar feelings and can offer valuable perspectives and advice. Professional help from a business coach or life coach can also be helpful.

Reframe Negative Thoughts

Challenge and reframe your negative thoughts. Instead of thinking, “I don’t deserve this success,” remind yourself of the hard work and strategic decisions that have contributed to your business achievements. Finding a thought to replace a negative thought can be really effective. For example, you can replace a thought like “I’m an imposter” with “I’m learning and developing these skills.”

There’s a method I call “ladder thoughts.” Basically you find a thought that is believable to you, such as “I’m learning.” When you believe that thought, you find another elevated thought, such as “I have helped many people.” You keep building on your thoughts until you land on a thought that’s empowering, such as “I’m good at what I do, and people come to me because I can help them.” The concept of ladder thoughts is you build up to your desired thought. This takes time and practice, but if you make it a daily practice you will see a shift in your thoughts.

Celebrate Your Successes

Take time to celebrate your business milestones, no matter how small they may seem. Keep a record of your accomplishments and positive feedback to reflect on during moments of self-doubt. Recognizing your successes helps reinforce your competence and value as a business owner.

Embrace Imperfection

Perfectionism is often linked to imposter syndrome. Understand that it’s okay to make mistakes and that perfection is an unrealistic goal. Embrace a growth mindset, where you view challenges and failures as opportunities for learning and development. This mindset can build resilience in your business. Failure is inevitable as a business owner, and when we accept it’s part of the journey it allows us to move forward.

Set Realistic Goals

Set achievable and realistic goals for your business. Break down larger projects into smaller, manageable steps. This approach can prevent feelings of being overwhelmed and help you build confidence as you achieve each step. It also allows for more flexibility and the ability to pivot in your business strategy.

Seek Mentorship

A mentor or coach can provide guidance, support, and validation. Having someone experienced to talk to can help you gain perspective on your abilities and achievements. Mentors can also offer constructive feedback and encouragement, helping you navigate the complexities of running a business.

Develop Self-Compassion

Practice self-compassion, and be kind to yourself. Treat yourself with the same understanding and support you would offer a colleague or friend. Self-compassion involves recognizing that everyone makes mistakes and that these mistakes don’t define your worth as a business owner.

Focus on Continuous Learning

Instead of fearing being exposed, focus on continuous learning and improvement. Accept that there will always be more to learn and that it’s okay not to know everything. This mindset can help reduce the pressure to appear infallible and encourage a healthier approach to personal and professional growth. Continuous learning can also drive innovation and competitiveness in your business.

Avoid Comparison

Avoid comparing yourself and your business to others, especially on social media, where people often showcase their highlights rather than their struggles. Every business journey is different, and comparing yourself to others can make you feel inadequate. Focus on your own progress, and try to shut out all the noise.

Practice

It’s often said that you become an expert at something when you spend a hundred hours practicing. Take every opportunity you can to practice and hone your skills. Confidence comes from experience. When you get good at something, you believe in yourself — and so will others.

Overcoming imposter syndrome is a process that requires patience, self-awareness, and effort. By acknowledging your feelings, talking about them, reframing negative thoughts, celebrating your successes, embracing imperfection, setting realistic goals, seeking mentorship, developing self-compassion, focusing on continuous learning, and limiting comparison, you can begin to dismantle the self-doubt that imposter syndrome brings.

Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Many successful business owners have walked the path before you and have found ways to thrive despite their doubts. Your achievements and experiences are valid, and with time and practice, you can learn to embrace your true worth and potential. Trust in your abilities, and give yourself the credit you deserve. Your business’s success is a testament to your hard work and dedication.

Join the Conversation

Let’s not stop the party here. Head on over to my Instagram or Facebook group, Redefine Your Business, and share your thoughts about today’s show. See you again, same time, same place next week!

Resources:

The Meeting Place Membership
Rock The Reels
1:1 Coaching
Free Client Welcome Guide
Additional Trainings and Resources

Connect with Brittni:

Follow me on the Gram – @brittni.schroeder
Join my Facebook Group
Visit my website
Subscribe to my Youtube